Smoking. That’s gonna be the hard part. Yes, I’m smoking a cigarette. No, the battle has not been lost. It is a horrible, expensive, demanding habit. 33 years. I cannot believe I have been smoking for 33 years. Stupid little paper tube full of dried up leaves, and it has the ability to keep me on edge, to ruin my mood, to cause stress and anxiety. This is ridiculous.I am angry and needy and stupid. I will find a way to make this work, I have no choice. Dominated by an obnoxious weed. Just stupid.