Gotta keep on keeping on!

So I should probably go attempt to put my ducks in a row…

I lost another two pounds! Whoohoo! Yesterday I ate crackers and cheese for both breakfast and dinner because I ate a horrible lunch, but it was sooooo good. I went to a restaurant with my daughter K and daughter-in-law M, where I indulged in appetizers and a burger with sweet potato fries. I really really really like sweet potato fries and pub pretzels with cheese. But I managed to only go over budget by 32 calories, which isn’t bad considering that I’ve been staying well under budget almost everyday.

Fortunately I hate cake,  don’t really like pie, and will only eat 1 or 2 types of cookies which helps over the holidays.

Meat is a real problem, I love meat. Especially beef. I slow roasted two huge chuck tenders ( 5 pounds of meat) over night in the crock-pot with half a jar of pepperoncini peppers and juice, I threw in a dry packet of onion soup mix and another packet of dry Italian dressing mix with one can of beef consomme and a few pats of butter. OMG it is so good. I ate it for breakfast. The plan is to serve it with melted provolone on good kaiser rolls. I’m practicing recipes for my daughters’s 18th birthday party. She wont eat any meat but chicken, so I’m also making buffalo shredded chicken for tacos for the party. It looks like I’m gonna need ten to fifteen pounds of beef for the party.

I can’t believe she’s gonna be eighteen! That means I’ve been clean and sober for almost nineteen years! My precious, precious lamb. She pulled me back from the edge a long time ago. Someday maybe I’ll tell you that story, it’s a good one. They grow up so fast. treasure the moments while you can! I am so grateful that she still will occasionally climb in my lap and hug me. All of my girls do. The boys, not so much.

kris1I’m on track- I’m not smoking, I’m losing weight, I’m seeing all the doctors I’m supposed to see, I’m counting every step and every calorie. I’m breathing better! Just think! In one year I could weigh a hundred pounds less!!! That’s almost a whole person! I’m actually beginning to let myself think about the possibility of riding horses with my daughter! That could actually happen!

1,885 pictures later and I realize I have none logged of me riding. Bummer. I guess I’ll have to take some next year! I also realized I have lots of pictures on this computer! I should probably back them up! Sometimes its nice to go through old photos, it brings back a lot of memories. So much of our life was built around our kids and pets! for-blog16

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We’ve had a really good life in spite of the struggles. I’m so glad we left Philadelphia 17 years ago! We ended up with a 2 acre property with a four bedroom house, garage, and barn for the same rent as a roach and mice infested row-house in a not-so-nice neighborhood. Moving was the first step in a new life! Smartest thing we did! I would never go back. Getting the kids out of the city was brilliant. They’ve been able to experience so many things city kids never see. Gardening and livestock, eating what you grew, county fairs, seeing things born and seeing things die, growing as humans with compassion and responsibility. Now I get to do it with my granndkids. One day at a time!

The reality is -my Christmas craft presents sit unfinished all over the dining room table, glitter everywhere. I have no ambition for Christmas. The only crafts I enjoyed this year were the ones I did with the kids. I need to get with my oldest daughter because we haven’t even discussed the Christmas menu. My favorite TV series that I DVR’d sits unwatched. I wish I had my ducks in a row, that is NOT happening this year. I’m so bored at home, and so unmotivated. I still want a cigarette, but today marks three weeks since I’ve touched one. The stupid doctor just told me that the cravings can last months. Ugh.

So I should probably go attempt to put my ducks in a row…

but looking at old pictures was so much more fun!

 

 

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