It’s been forever…I’m Still Here!

I am amazed by how long its been since I’ve written, I’m so ashamed.

I’ve lost weight, gained weight, and lost it again…the only good thing is I have never gone above my original weight. I’m sticking to my calorie intake numbers, but am not always making great choices. Sometimes my proteins are low and my fats high…

I’ve gained a beautiful grandson since I’ve last written…he is healthy and chubby and perfect. He is seven weeks old, so now you know what I’ve been busy with.  I am watching him 3-5 days a week since my daughter and her fiance’s shifts tend to overlap.

baby gray

I’m in school 4 days a week, and trying to hook up with my parents at least 2 days a week- sometimes that doesn’t work out. We usually do a Sunday meal and at least one weekday get together (hopefully at the gym) We had brunch last week- veggies and egg scramble. Just saute and add egg beaters…great use of asparagus, onion and mushrooms. I added a little feta to the eggs. Egg Beaters are a great choice with less fat and less cholesterol.

sunday morning eggs

Any days I have to myself I tend to spend cooking and/or running around, unless I’m driving the local Amish to pay my hay bill since my animals never stop eating.

I’m still in ‘therapy’ to satisfy the shrink the bariatric doctor made me see, that is like ripping a wound open on a regular basis. She always manages to tap a nerve…I swear she’s gonna have me committed one of these days. I cry like a little bitch all the time. Stupid emotions!

I wish I had more time to go to the gym, I just seem to always be short when it comes to squeezing everything in.

I’ve spent some serious money on protein drinks and some are good while others are just plain terrible. I’m trying to refine my options before I’m locked in to liquid only diet.

Spring is NOT starting out well as we’ve found numerous holes in the pool liner which doesn’t bode well for my wallet this summer. Lots of repairs need to be done. Yesterday was 77 degrees, so I foolishly thought today would be nice to work in the yard- its freezing out. Dammit. I’d have done it yesterday but I had a 9 year old, a 6 year old, two 4 year old boys and an infant- sooooo, I was somewhat busy and could not get out in the yard. However we had a great day and they enjoyed each other and I in turn enjoyed them.

kids weekend

My newest goal is to organize my time and make better use of it. With all the things I’m juggling I need to find a way to cram it all in and still get good grades at school.  I may have possibly missed a few classes over the last two weeks and I know I did horribly on an exam. Hopefully it’s still early enough to fix. I aced the last one so one failure shouldn’t define me. I probably got a C or a D so overall I’ll have a B or a high C….which a great paper should redeem.

I’m getting impatient about the surgery, whether or not the therapist will ‘pass’ me, when I  can get it over with. When I can get some of this daggone weight off!!!!  So I can move better and walk better and function again!!!!

I’m kind of scared, worrying about complications….like blood clots and stuff. I just want to fast forward and get on with it.

I still want to smoke. Everyday. But I don’t and I won’t. Smoking is NOT going to take the opportunity of a future from me.

Time. Time is my biggest enemy. Or the lack thereof. Easy food is the bane of my existence. Take out is so convenient after being on the road all day, or babysitting. Yes, I juggle the calories, but fatty food is still fatty food. And spending calories on dumb choices can mean that you end up going to bed hungry. Which sucks.  Protein shakes are your friend, they can bring up the protein numbers and save the day with very few calories. However, cooking healthy food is ALWAYS the better choice. Also lite cheese sticks (50 calories) and low cal meat like hard salami are a quick way to get rid of hunger pangs! Bagel thins (110 calories) with low fat flavored cream cheese is also a good option!

Next week I am going to practice substituting non fat powder milk with chicken broth for heavy cream in a sun-dried tomato and garlic sauce with chicken. I made it this week with the cream and a chicken broth/corn starch rue to stretch said cream. I used my Ninja to chop (pulse) the sun dried tomatoes and garlic, I shredded rotisserie chicken (to cheat time) and threw a chunk of Parmesan Reggiano into the Ninja as well until it was thoroughly grated and added it to the bubbling cream mixture. You can also add baby leaf spinach to the sauce which is an awesome upgrade. I was thinking I could maybe make those cauliflower crusts everyone is always talking about and make a pizza with the sauce instead of using pasta….less carbs!!!

sun dried tomato sauce

 

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